thoughts on graduating

I wrote this for my school newspaper as my last article. I was on the paper staff for three years, so I wanted to go out with an emotional article. Now, I don't think this is my best by far, but it is accurate. I would have liked to touch it up more but I'm in full summer mode so I'm feeling pretty lazy. I wrote this article in less than an hour on the day of my prom so I kind of feel like I rushed it; however, like I said, the feelings are real.

I don't think I can accurately describe the emotions I'm feeling around this time of year. School is over and the summer is almost here, so naturally I am relieved. Inside of me, however, there is an unsettling feeling. Most if it is anticipation. However, some if it is regret while the rest of it is dejection. Graduating high school is a rewarding feeling. I feel as if I accomplished something important, and really I have. Sometimes we, as students in a Catholic school, take our education for granted. We have been given a gift by our parents and we need to make the most of it.

One of the emotions that floods through my mind is regret. What could I possibly regret if I'm graduating, right? Well, the thing is I know I haven't done my best. As cliche as it sounds, if I could go back and change some of my habits and decisions, I definitely would. I completed my high school career with good grades, but for me it just wasn't good enough. This is one of the emotions that pains me every day, but it is also the one I choose to ignore. Regret means nothing because the past cannot be changed. We live for the here and now, so it is important to make the most of what you have.

Another emotion is dejection. Why could I possibly feel depressed? This one is easier to answer. I loved high school. I savored every minute I had and that is definitely something I do not regret. Whether it was basketball games, football games, or after school clubs there was always something to do. I know that college will be exciting and I know that there will be even more freedom, but I just cannot relate how the time I spent at Farrell made me feel. It made me who I am and what I will become.

Finally, and foremost, I am happy. I know that with graduation comes bigger and better things, and I don't just mean gifts and parties. High school life has prepared me for college life, and college life will prepare me for life out in the world. I can never get this time back, and I'm glad I spent my four years having a great time. High school moves quickly and I never believed it. I chose to put the thought out of my head. I figured I would always have time to wonder about life when there was no Farrell as a part of my every day routine.

But as I write this, just days before I walk down the center aisle in the gym amongst the chatter and the fanfare; just days before I walk up those steps and shake Monsignor Paddack's hand with a smile; just days before my friends and I discuss our plans before the summer so that we can hang out before we all move away to college, I am feeling it. In the pit of my stomach, I feel sad. I feel happy. I feel confused. But most of all, I feel excitement.

I know that no matter what happens, I can always say that I am a graduate, no...a proud graduate of Monsignor Farrell High School.