Alright, maybe he's not the most annoying...but he annoys me a lot. I'm talking about the pee wee basketball coach who acts like he's coaching in the NBA.
You would be lying to me if you told me that you never saw this guy. If you've ever been to any kind of basketball game that featured kids from ages 6 to 10, you've probably seen him. He usually wears a sweat suit, white tube socks, ugly sneakers. Hair slicked back. He holds his clipboard during timeouts but he never uses it. It's just for effect. During the game, he calls out the names of plays but the kids don't really react because the fact remains...they are little kids. They have no attention span, so when he was explaining the plays to them they really weren't listening. Do you know this guy now?
He argues with refs over bad calls and the refs are just confused because it's pee wee basketball...they usually let kids run around with the ball for 10 full seconds before they call traveling. If a ref makes a call, he probably made the right call. But no...Pat Riley in training over here needs to argue his case. He really knows absolutely nothing about the game of basketball, but he throws out terms like "flagrant" and "charging" and "3 in the key" and "man to man" so that the parents and the refs will take him seriously. Nobody ever does though.
He calls a timeout so he can lay into the kids. He calls them "heartless" and tells them they "lack dedication." Basically, he makes a bunch of 8 year olds feel like a pile of shit. After the game is over he tries to make them feel good. He just berated them for an hour, but he decides now he wants to be nice. He tells them that they did a great job and offers to buy pizza for everyone. But frankly the parents are frightened that they trust this man with their children. Parents with little kids are usually stupid though, so they continue to send their kids to this weirdo and let him "coach" the kids.
What about his assistant coach? He's the quiet one. He's a nice guy, good parent, loves his kid. His kid is not the star player, but he's no bench warmer either. He can play alright. He doesn't get nearly as much playing time as the head coach's son though (even though the head coach's son is one of the worst kids on the team). The assistant coach is timid, to the point where he is actually scared to suggest anything to the head coach. He usually takes care of the nonsensical stuff. Like giving a hurt kid an ice pack or quenching their thirst with Gatorade so they don't pass out from dehydration. Ya know, the stuff he doesn't have time to deal with.
Do you know this guy? Yeah, well that guy annoys the hell out of me.
You would be lying to me if you told me that you never saw this guy. If you've ever been to any kind of basketball game that featured kids from ages 6 to 10, you've probably seen him. He usually wears a sweat suit, white tube socks, ugly sneakers. Hair slicked back. He holds his clipboard during timeouts but he never uses it. It's just for effect. During the game, he calls out the names of plays but the kids don't really react because the fact remains...they are little kids. They have no attention span, so when he was explaining the plays to them they really weren't listening. Do you know this guy now?
He argues with refs over bad calls and the refs are just confused because it's pee wee basketball...they usually let kids run around with the ball for 10 full seconds before they call traveling. If a ref makes a call, he probably made the right call. But no...Pat Riley in training over here needs to argue his case. He really knows absolutely nothing about the game of basketball, but he throws out terms like "flagrant" and "charging" and "3 in the key" and "man to man" so that the parents and the refs will take him seriously. Nobody ever does though.
He calls a timeout so he can lay into the kids. He calls them "heartless" and tells them they "lack dedication." Basically, he makes a bunch of 8 year olds feel like a pile of shit. After the game is over he tries to make them feel good. He just berated them for an hour, but he decides now he wants to be nice. He tells them that they did a great job and offers to buy pizza for everyone. But frankly the parents are frightened that they trust this man with their children. Parents with little kids are usually stupid though, so they continue to send their kids to this weirdo and let him "coach" the kids.
What about his assistant coach? He's the quiet one. He's a nice guy, good parent, loves his kid. His kid is not the star player, but he's no bench warmer either. He can play alright. He doesn't get nearly as much playing time as the head coach's son though (even though the head coach's son is one of the worst kids on the team). The assistant coach is timid, to the point where he is actually scared to suggest anything to the head coach. He usually takes care of the nonsensical stuff. Like giving a hurt kid an ice pack or quenching their thirst with Gatorade so they don't pass out from dehydration. Ya know, the stuff he doesn't have time to deal with.
Do you know this guy? Yeah, well that guy annoys the hell out of me.
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